TNT life coach Olivia Pool’s thoughtful and practical three-part column on “what to do when you don’t know what to do” is one of TNT’s all-time most popular feature series. We’ve put all three together into one feature for our end of the year review. We know we’ll be referring back to it frequently in 2025!
Part One
There are times when we just don’t know what to do—what the right decision is, what the next best step would be, where we should go or not go, etc.
It’s a normal part of the strange evolutionary journey of being a human. There are moments and seasons of clear, decisive action and there are others when we feel unclear and that our lives are going in circles. The clear, decisive times are fun and easy; we get to just move forward! It’s the unclear moments that really test our faith and resilience. How strong is your trust in yourself, or perhaps in a higher power during these times? Are you remembering that you are just as metamorphic as a butterfly? If the caterpillar doesn’t go through the uncomfortable experience of the cocoon, the butterfly never manifests. The icky, yucky, messy, confusing cocoon is where the real transformation happens.
So, if you happen to be finding yourself feeling unsure and unclear, know that it’s just a moment in time. You will feel clear and know what to do again soon. There are invisible forces recalibrating your world right now. It’s important to let it be and do your best to not worry too much. What is meant for you will always find you.
In case these words feel airy fairy for you, here are some practical things you can do to steady your mind if you find yourself swimming in the Divine Unknown.
- Take a break from all the thinking and just get really present. Tune into your senses. What are you currently seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting, experiencing. Presence is the best antidote for worry. Worry is panicking about a future that has not happened or may never happen. Presence is what is actually here and we rob ourselves of the present moment by going into worry. So, take some deep breaths and get acclimated to where you actually are, right here and now. If this feels challenging, simplify it by going to the breath. Literally just sit down and focus all of your attention on your inhale and your exhale. That’s it. Try it for just five minutes.
- Clean and purge. Just start cleaning your house. Do the dishes, the laundry, take out the trash. Go through your closets, junk drawers, garage, attic, etc. and do a purge of all the things you are not using. In addition to feeling more organized, this will actually really help clear a lot of mental and energetic real estate inside your mind. The less cluttered your internal and external environment is, the more space there is for new ideas to come in, so this helps in multiple ways.
- Move your body—walk, run, dance, jump, stretch, do yoga, play basketball. The best way to move stagnant energy is to literally move. Not only will this help you feel better physically, it will kickstart the production of different chemicals in your system, giving you access to new thoughts and feelings and will help you get out of a rut and maybe come up with a new perspective.
- Go outside. Nature is the best teacher. All we have to do is listen. By simply witnessing a plant’s growth cycle, we can be reminded of how all things go through this process where it appears that nothing is changing, but in reality, many, many things are changing under the surface, beyond what we can see. And it is this internal or below the surface change that is prepping us for the upcoming bloom we’ll soon experience. Nature reminds us of the cyclical nature of it all. You will not be here forever. It’s impossible.
- Lastly, find a way to feel gratitude for this moment. Make a list of all the things that are good in your world—perhaps you currently have access to food and shelter, or you have a healthy body, a good brain, people who love you. Think of all the challenges you have already overcome. Your success rate of moving beyond those has already been 100%.
If you’ve got more tips to share, please send us an email. We love hearing from you and value your thoughts and feelings!
Part Two
The last time I wrote an article, it was this same title. I’m adding a part 2 to this today because as soon as I had turned it in, I started thinking of so many other things I wanted to add. In part 1, I went over some foundational things that I think we all need to be reminded of when things feel murky and unclear. Here is a continuation of another solid list of things to try if you don’t know what your next steps might be and you’d like to get more clarity.
- Write it all down. Notebooks. Whiteboards. Diagrams in the sand. Hundreds of post-it notes. Drawings. There’s something magical that happens when we take the etheric concepts that swirl around like air in our minds, and ground them physically by drawing or write them out. We start to see these from a different perspective and they begin to feel a bit more tangible this way.
- Open up to new ideas by entertaining and gathering new information. Read books. Listen to podcasts. Change your environment. Go for a bike ride. Have tea or coffee with someone you don’t normally connect with. Pull some tarot cards. Swing a pendulum. Be open to signs from the universe. With this last one, I’ve found this works best when I am more specific and I say, “Please show me my next steps in a way that makes it obvious to me what they are.” Cause, gosh darn it, don’t you know the universe is tossing out signs left and right, and we are often lost in our little bubbles that we don’t recognize them!
- Tune in to the body. The body is the subconscious and it is so full of knowledge that the conscious mind is not yet aware of! It’s important that we take excellent care of our bodies for so many reasons, but for our purposes here, we want our bodies to feel simultaneously calm and alert so we can receive any cues it may give us. “Have you had a glass of water?” is a joke in my house because it’s so simple, it feels obnoxious. When we feel stressed or unsure of things, we must ask ourselves if we have covered the basics: quality sleep, enough water, nourishing food. It’s amazing how frequently we neglect these things. Often when we’re stressed, we tend to eat more junk food or deprive ourselves of sleep. When the body is well nourished, rested, and watered, it’s much easier to hear the signals it is trying to send us. Our bodies will literally expand towards things that feel in alignment with it, and will shrink away from things that don’t feel right.
- Follow the things that are clear. Look out for things here and there that you do feel really clear about and get laser focused on following those. When we put our attention on things that feel like a ‘yes,’ it attunes us to vibrate with more clarity, and when we vibrate a specific way, more of what is in resonance with that vibration shows up. The universe will always match your frequency. This is why the “rich get richer.” An example of this would be if you feel confused about almost everything in your life, but one little thing feels clear, just do that one little thing. Think of it like following breadcrumbs towards more clarity. Similarly, there will be a few things that feel like a clear ‘no,’ and these are also excellent signs of what not to pursue at this moment.
There’s going to be a Part 3 of this coming your way next because I am getting clear (pun intended) that the more I write all this down (see #1 above), the more I realize there are actually so many ways to cleanse the lenses of our perceptions. As always, I love hearing YOUR thoughts and ideas! Let’s all continue to help each other by sharing more great ideas. Feel free to write to us [email protected] or me [email protected] or leave a comment online at topanganewtimes.com.
Part Three
We are continuing with this series as it seems like it’s really resonating with people and it’s also resonating with me. Even as I write this today, I am finding these reminders so helpful! Please check out Part 1 and 2. Part 3 is a bit more esoteric and works with more intangible energies, and sometimes that is the most powerful way to move through a stuck place—literally knowing we are all energy and that if we allow and follow that energetic guidance, the way forward will become more clear.
- Prayer. I used to think that prayer meant I had to be on my knees and in church, as I grew up Catholic. I now know that prayer can look different for everyone. For me, it often looks like being in a quiet place, closing my eyes, making an intentional connection to a higher power, asking for guidance, and then listening. The listening is the most important part. I personally also like to add something like, “Please send me guidance on my next steps in a really obvious way that I can understand.” I find this helpful as I think we are all given signs all the time, but we may not even know that signs are coming our way! LOL.
- Go quantum with in-depth visualizations and manifestations. This is a great tool if you are unclear about the present moment but you do have a bigger future goal. If you do have a goal that feels like it’s quite far in the future and you don’t yet know how to get there, focus your attention on “the what” instead of “the how.” Basically, use all of your energy to create even more clarity on the end result and stop thinking about “how” you’re going to get there. This is a process of working backwards as you start with visualizing the goal being manifested already, then feeling it, and then after you can truly embody that feeling, start working backwards and list out the steps needed to get to that future place. For example, if you see yourself doing a TEDx talk, feel into what it would be like to be on stage. What are you wearing, what sensations are going on in your body, what are you sharing about, what is the audience like, etc. Be in that future moment in a fully embodied way. Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about “collapsing time” by doing this type of practice as you can embody the future moment so fully that your body doesn’t know the difference between something happening in your mind or in actuality. Because your body is now producing these chemicals, emotions, and thoughts, the rest of your reality will actually acclimate to it! How cool is that?! Once you embody this future experience, knowing what that feels like in a deep way, you can start by making a list of what practical things you may need to do to assist this vision. For example, get clear on what you want to do your TEDx talk about, hiring a speaking coach, reach out to your local TEDx chapter, work on your pitch, etc.
- Be in radical acceptance. I know that when things feel unclear in my life, the first thing I want to do is get them to be clear! However, sometimes the most potent thing you can do is sit in the mud. As the old saying goes, “no mud, no lotus,” right? Mud is certainly not something you can clearly see through. It’s thick and sticks to you. If you dislike it and try to wipe it off, it just smears. So, what’s the best thing to do when there’s mud all around you? Well, if you were to ask a kid (or a pig), they would just simply be in it and probably think it was the best thing ever. What I’m alluding to here is a practice of radical acceptance, surrender, presence, of being with what “is” instead of trying to change it. Ironically, when we accept things as they are, they often soften and a new way emerges.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts and feedback! Do you have a personal practice that helps you get clarity when you are unclear? Share with us so we can all benefit. Feel free to email us at [email protected] or me directly at [email protected] or comment online at topanganewtimes.com
