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To Be Alive After Covid
Work/Life Balance

To Be Alive After Covid 

I am sharing my personal experience here in the hopes that it may help you or someone you love. 

I’m still experiencing my last couple coughs of recovering from Covid as I write this today, and by the time it’s published, I’ll be totally healed and full of wonderful antibodies. I already feel such immense gratitude. 

I was sick for a good two weeks, likely a bit longer. I knew something was wrong and I kept getting tested. I went to three completely different testing sites, and I took at least eight different tests, and they all came back negative, and I was repeatedly told I was fine and I should just resume all normal activities. The only test that ended up being accurate was when I went to an actual doctor. The nurse stuck the swab so far into my nasal passage, I found myself physically trying to push her away from me without realizing I was doing so.

“So, here we go,” I thought to myself in a rather neutral way, as I drove home from the clinic. Nothing could have prepared me for the psychological ride that I had just buckled in for. 

A few things you should know about me. I’ve had a full life and I’ve tried all kinds of things, including all types of natural and manmade consciousness-altering substances when I was younger. There’s a distinct difference in the physical sensations one experiences when a natural substance moves through your body versus what a manmade substance feels like. The latter feels metallic, electronic… it has a frequency that feels, I dunno… technical, maybe? Like a computer algorithm or bad electronic dance music perhaps? It’s frenetic. Either way, there’s an essence that is not natural. 

As I felt Covid entering into different parts of my body, I could feel its unnatural frequency making its way into various parts of me. I experienced the typical flu-like symptoms you normal hear about, and although I’m not going to get too into the physical experience of Covid here, except to say that it is horrible. It will go to wherever you are weakest in your body, and it will keep finding new places of weakness. One moment, you think you’re battling a high fever, then the next you could be throwing up. It’s a beast of a sickness, and I urge you to do whatever you need to do to get your physical body into the best shape you’ve ever been in. In the unfortunate case you find yourself in that battle, may you enter it as well armed as possible. 

I want to talk about the non-physical experience of Covid. In my opinion, the most dangerous thing about Covid is that it has the ability to go into your psyche. Everyone’s experience is different, and this is merely mine, so take what resonates and leave the rest. 

For me and others I know who’ve been sick, I actually felt both: 1) my actual brain not working properly as I literally found that my ability to think felt completely impaired, and 2) my normal positive mental attitude of love, compassion, and perseverance changed drastically. I immediately understood why so many people were dying. 

Here’s something else you should know about me personally: I LOVE being alive. Even in the toughest moments of my life (and there have been some epically tough ones) when I could have given in to the idea of giving up, there was always that desire to keep going. Making the most of being alive and thriving is my actual job. Literally. It’s my job. Every day of my work life, I teach people how to shift their daily perspectives so they can see the light in the darkness, so they can see the lessons in messes, so they can feel gratitude for the poop fertilizer before them. I can say with confidence, I am particularly skilled in this department of having a positive mental attitude. 

Yet, I still felt the darkness of Covid pull me into feeling like I didn’t want to be here anymore. This is where this got really troublesome for me. I’m super blessed to have so many people that love and care for me, I’m a pretty healthy person physically, and I’m definitely a healthy person mentally. What about all the people in the world who are getting sick and being told they have to be completely alone? What about those who are eating bad food and not taking care of their bodies? How are those people supposed to fight this thing? I know I had to reach deep into my own well to pull myself out, and I am so blessed, and equipped to handle this thing. I felt so much compassion for everyone else’s Covid experience, I cried every single day. I cried because I could feel how much the world was hurting. I cried because I wanted to help and couldn’t in that moment. I cried for all those who have died or have lost someone through this experience. I cried because I now know first hand how important it is for the world to keep up its morale, and for people to be kind to each other. 

I am not sharing any of this so you can feel sad for me. I promise you I’m totally fine. I’m actually way more inspired than before I got sick. And furthermore, feeling sad or worrying for anyone doesn’t help them. I purposefully told very few people I was sick because I didn’t want worry frequencies coming my direction. What will help someone is you seeing them as strong and capable. 

This virus is here and will continue to be here until we learn the lessons we are meant to learn from it. My lessons are as follows: 

If you or someone you love has Covid, here are some helpful things to do and not do: 

  • Understand their basic needs and just step in and help them get those things. They likely are unable to do those things for themselves. Get their address and mail them vitamins, tissues, teas, Tylenol, some basic groceries, flowers…
  • Send them text messages and letters letting them know you love them and that you know how strong they are. They are probably sleeping 20 hours a day and may not respond. Don’t take it personally. Keep sending the messages. 
  • Keep them away from the news, social media, or anyone who is prone to negativity or worry. 
  • Keep them away from division, politics, and the like. Remember that “divided, we fall.” 
  • Keep them away from hospitals or the ER, unless absolutely necessary. Those are tough environments to remain positive. Do stay in touch with your doctor. 
  • Do not tell them things like “You should have gotten vaccinated,” or “You shouldn’t have gotten vaccinated” or “You should have taken better care of yourself.” None of this shaming is helpful. Don’t “should” on them. They’re busy trying to heal. 
  • Send them little jokes and love notes to keep their morale up. You can conquer anything when you have a positive outlook.
  • If you know someone who has had the virus and feels they have strong antibodies, ask them to visit your friend. Reassurance that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel can be some strong medicine. 
  • Remind them that the body is designed to heal. We are naturally healing machines. Your body will fight for you with all its got. 
  • Remind them a million times that they are not alone, and that there is so much to live for. 

My absolute biggest lesson from Covid is how much we need each other. 

We are all on our own personal heroes’ journeys with this, but the hero always needs assistance. There’s no greater love and inspiration than knowing there are allies around ready to help you when you feel like you can’t take another step. We must put our differences aside and be each other’s allies.

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2 Comments

  1. Bernard Benjamin Selling

    I like what you have to say. I am fortunate not to have had COVID, but as a tango dancer, tennis player, and musician, I can see the wisdom of what you are saying. Where do you teach or hold classes? I do have a son who is somewhat injured from a suicide attempt and is slowly healing. You may be able to help so I am listening to what you say.

  2. Miriam Claire

    Olivia Pool’s article in the current 9/10/21 edition of TNT offers dangerous advice that can cost an impressionable, uninformed reader their life. She writes “…Keep them away from hospitals or the ER, unless absolutely necessary…”

    Hospitals and ERs are where lives are saved! It’s where patients can be x-rayed so that they know if they have Covid pneumonia and their blood oxygen saturation level is measured to see if they need supplemental oxygen. That is where they can be given life-saving monoclonal anti-body IV infusions, Remdesivir, Dexamethasone and other powerful anti-inflammatory medications that can save lives. It’s where patients can be provided a cpap machine to help them breathe as well as other treatments and yes, as a last resort, ventilator intubation.

    Most importantly, in an ER and hospital there is typically an infectious disease specialist available for immediate consultation by the treating doctors to ensure that the patient is receiving the best care to save their life. Shortness of breath, chest pain, difficulty breathing, confusion, persistent coughing, bluish lips, fever and other symptoms that a patient and doctor can easily recognize as indicators of serious illness should trigger an immediate visit to the ER and hospital. I didn’t have those symptoms but a couple of hours of unusual new symptoms on day 10 after diagnosis made my son recognize that I needed to go to the hospital. He called Kaiser and drove me to the hospital. You may not be able to recognize that you are seriously ill BECAUSE you are seriously ill. That is why you need to be monitored by others and at the very least, get a chest x-ray. That is the only way to know whether you are developing Covid pneumonia which has killed over 660,000 Americans since the pandemic began.

    Well over 10,000 people have died at home trying to recover “naturally” following the kind of advice that Ms. Pool suggests, including my my cousin Steve who died of Covid on January 26, 2021 despite shortness of breath that should have made him seek help in an ER. Instead, his doctor prescribed anti-biotics which is the wrong treatment for Covid 19 according to the World Health Organization. And his neighbor kindly dropped off meals at his door, just the kind of kind approach Ms. Pool suggests. It’s wrong advice that can kill your readers if they follow it.

    My son saved my life when I also had Covid in January, 2021 by insisting that I allow him to take me to Kaiser where a simple x-ray showed on the 10th day after diagnosis that I had developed double Covid pneumonia (which means in both lungs). I was immediately hospitalized and received IV transfusions of Remdesivir and Dexamethazone. There was nothing negative or “toxic” about the environment – it was safe and profoundly comforting to be receiving the best possible care from doctors, nurses and the attending staff at the hospital.
    Three months after I recovered I received the 2 shot Pfizer vaccine – that’s the best possible advice I can give anyone who wishes to avoid gambling with their life and those with whom they come in contact. I had Covid long haul symptoms for 6 months that included fatigue, brain fog, heart palpitations for which I sought medical advice and susceptibility to stress. Around August 2021 I started to improve but the long haul symptoms linger and do still surface every now and then. Some people have long term breathing problems and other long haul symptoms including loss of taste and smell that have persisted much longer than 6 months.

    If you want to help your readers, urge them to get vaccinated, please. And if they receive a positive diagnosis for Covid, they should immediately request that their doctor organize free monoclonal antibody treatment as well as a chest x-ray. A simple home Pulse Oximeter device will tell your readers if they have low blood oxygen levels. A reading of 90 or lower requires an immediate trip to the ER according to the advice Kaiser telemedicine doctors and nurses gave us. A temporarily low reading told my son that he had to act immediately to get me to a hospital. He did, and I survived.

    Miriam Claire
    Topanga, CA

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