We are presented with choices every single day. Do I turn left or right? Do I take the job offer? Is it a good idea to move into this apartment? Should I get another degree? Do I want to eat chicken or fish tonight? The list of choices goes on and on.
If you really take a moment to think about your day, you are being presented with one choice or another—literally every minute. Some of these are minor choices and some of them massive, but no matter the size, they each make a difference in your life. You could make the choice to eat too much ice cream and then spend the next day having a stomach ache. That one seemingly minor choice impacted you more than you thought it might. And you could have been hemming and hawing over which stocks to purchase to find out that all of the ones you were choosing between ended up doing great, and all that time trying to make the “right” choice was kinda useless. We just really never know what each decision will bring! It certainly keeps life interesting, doesn’t it?
This reminds me of the movie Sliding Doors. It’s an older movie with Gwyneth Paltrow where they show the trajectory of her life if she makes it through the sliding doors of the subway, and then they show a different life trajectory if she doesn’t make it onto the subway that day. It gives us a lot to ponder about whether we are creating our lives as we go or if we are predestined to have specific things happen. I don’t think anyone has ever truly figured out which way it really happens. It’s still very much of a mystery to me, that’s for sure.
I bring this up today because all of these big and small choices we make throughout our days really do change the course of our lives. Are there right and wrong choices? I don’t think so, but I do think there are some that feel more easeful and others more challenging. I believe they all bring us the lessons we are here to learn, so I think all decisions we make are here to serve us and to help us grow. All of that being said, as I get older, I am still ready to learn lessons, but I aim for them to be as gentle and as graceful as possible!
Here are some of my personal do’s and don’ts when it comes to making choices that seem to bring more grace and ease into my life.
- Don’t make any big decisions when you are in a state of panic or anxiety, if you can help it. I know this is impossible sometimes, so if you are in a stressed state and need to take action, simply do your best. More decisions will emerge, and you can move forward making better ones.
- Don’t make decisions based on other people’s opinions. This is where so much regret and blame comes from! You are the authority and the responsible party for your own life. Do the things that feel best for you.
- Don’t make decisions that keep you playing small. You are here to grow and evolve. It’s okay to take chances, especially if they feel expansive. Remember that sometimes, growth and expansion can feel a little scary too. If you feel both excited and a little scared, it’s usually a sign that you are being asked to grow. Lean into it. You are more capable than you think!
- Do make decisions based on your own clear, intuitive guidance. If you are feeling unclear, wait until you get yourself into a calmer state of mind and then make the decision. If you don’t have time to wait, then flip a coin. When the coin is in the air, you’ll likely know which side you’d like it to land on!
- Do make decisions that feel like a full, joyful “yes” in your body. Your body (which is ruled by your subconscious mind) knows what things will feel best to your nervous system. As I mentioned above, sometimes what feels joyful and exciting can also feel a little scary. Remember that this is just you upleveling. Stay tuned in to the frequency of joy. You’ll figure out everything else! I promise.
- Do trust yourself. Know that everything is figure-out-able. If you made a decision one day and you dislike it the next, you can always figure a new path forward.
I’d love to hear more about how you like to make your big and small choices. What are some things you do when you’re faced with choices? How can you do it even more gracefully?