What is it Like to Date Me? 

So, I was on a date at this sushi restaurant the other night. The miso soup, seaweed salad, and sushi rolls were hitting the spot. The place was packed with locals. Nothing fancy; just a really good neighborhood sushi place. 

I twirled the chopsticks in my hand. I watched the chef make custom rolls. I smiled to myself. It had been a while since I had taken myself on a date. It felt nice to just do something loving and caring for myself for no other reason than I deserve to feel nourished and cared for. 

I felt the urge to look at my phone or open up my laptop so that I appeared “purposeful” because I was there by myself and I had a moment of feeling awkward, but then I told myself “no.” We are so societally conditioned to think it odd to go places like that by ourselves. We are also so conditioned to pick up a device at the first moment of not knowing what to do. I was having tea with a friend recently and he told me that he had gotten rid of his smartphone and got the most basic phone you can have nowadays, and he said he was thriving in boredom! He’s a poet and he’s writing so much more now that his phone sucks. 

So, I just sat there with my chopsticks and my thoughts and felt a quiet moment of contentment, not feeling bored at all. My food arrived and I ate it with so much presence, it felt like a true yogic tantric experience to slow down that much. Everyone around me was bustling about. 

I like dating myself, I thought. 

Excellent conversationalist. Good listener. Present. Unrushed. A bit disheveled looking since it was a spontaneous choice to come here, but that was okay with me.  

I then started imagining planning a scheduled date with myself. What would it be like for me to make a formal reservation for one at a fancy restaurant? I could clean my car and get myself flowers. It would be interesting to get all dressed up and do that. I could choose a 5-course meal and just have a really decadent experience by myself. 

This concept of taking yourself on a solo date is not new. It’s a fundamental component of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and I think it’s a powerful practice that we should all be doing much more frequently. 

Here in the United States, we are ruled by the propaganda that surrounds days like Valentine’s Day, and there’s so much performative pressure to be coupled that so many of the people who aren’t partnered feel like they are missing out or that something is “wrong” with them. I think it’s important to bring in a healthy perspective of spending loving time with yourself—whether you’re partnered or not, honestly. We get so caught up in external whatnots that we forget to romance ourselves. Afterall, the relationship we have with ourselves is the most long-lasting important one that we’ll ever, ever have. So, what is it like to date me? Well, sometimes, it’s a quiet everyday-type-of-experience with messy hair and chopsticks. Sometimes, it’s fancy and expensive. It’s always interesting. What is it like to date you?