Claire Fordham shares her life-affirming experience at Rituel Nature Refuge
If anyone had told me when I landed in Los Angeles from London 27 years ago that I’d be taking part in a breath, sound, and scent journey, I’d have laughed in their face. At the very least, there’d have been an eye roll.
Not only did I just take part in one, I loved every minute of it. And I’m going to do it again. And again. They are held regularly in Topanga and I suggest you give it a try if you want to relax deeply, commune with nature, expand your consciousness, and/or heal past traumas.
All I knew before stepping into this brave new world was that Carly Jo Carson’s breath work classes and courses are always sold out and receive rave reviews from participants. Carly designed and facilitated the “journey” with Leanne Hirsh of Perfumera Curandera, and Eve Gaines—who hosted the event at Rituel Nature Refuge. Eve curated the herbal rest beds the 17 participants lay on and created the incredible vibe at Rituel. The landscape was intoxicating, thanks to the abundance of fresh herbs in Rituel’s medicine garden. The view—stunning.
Creator and founder of Topanga’s Rituel Nature Reserve, Eve Gaines has a mission to help people connect with their life’s purpose. With a background in medical and psychological anthropology, Eve specializes in designing ceremonies and meaningful life cycle rituals.
Before I get down to the nitty gritty of the experience, here’s some back story. Both Carly and Eve lost their Topanga homes in the Palisades Fire. Both women and their spouses chose to stay. Carly and her husband, Jay, found another rental in Topanga for themselves and their four children. Eve and her husband, Glenn, are re-building their home, having already re-established Rituel Nature Reserve.
Eve, a mother of two, said, “For a brief moment, we entertained the thought of leaving Topanga. And many people did go, understandably so. But for those of us who stayed, something deeper began to take hold. Our roots deepened. Our sense of place became more fully claimed. Our belonging to this land entered another layer altogether. Alongside that, the seed bank stirred, and this spring has brought a glorious bloom. After so much intensity, to witness that renewal has felt both humbling and affirming—an expression of resilience, continuity, and the intelligence of the living world.”
Carly gives prompts during the journey. She wrote and produced the music and lyrics for the soundscape, and sings the affirmations that filter through. The music is powerful and multi-layered. Sometimes discordant—deliberately so—it’s powerful, meaningful and, well, mind-blowing.
Along with the breathing and the scents that Leanne sprays around and on us throughout, the music takes us to an inner realm. Breathing is key to going deep within. There is no plant medicine/drug involved here.
“I spray them as you’re breathing, but they’re very light, so you won’t be inundated, and there’s wind to carry it away,” said Leanne. “It’s just a sort of gentle thing that might open a moment when you’re in the journey, depending on where you’re at. And for anyone sensitive who doesn’t want anything near them, you can put your hand up now and I’ll know who you are and I’ll avoid you. But they’re very gentle and friendly.”
Before this journey began, Carly shared how she had a difficult childhood with addiction and mental illness in her family that left her anxious and depressed. She discovered plant medicines in her early 20s traveling through the Amazon, working with a shaman. But while ayahuasca did open her heart and she began to heal, Carly realized she was doing it too much and stopped.
The feelings of depression and memories of childhood trauma returned.
“A friend took me to a Stan Grof breath workshop,” said Carly. “In that first session, I learned that you can go to the exact same states of consciousness with breath and music. I created all this new music since the fire to bring new energy to my workshops.
“For me, breathing is a medium to tap into different places and feelings inside us which we can’t really reach with words. The songs are intentionally long to bring you deep into a feeling. Go with it. Surrender to what comes up for you.”
Carly trained in breathing techniques with the Stan Grof organization and many other breath practitioners before deciding she liked the Grof method the best.
“There are really only two rules. Amplify the breath as much as you can and then have very little space in between the inhale and the exhale. Some people like to go fast, like breath of fire,” said Carly. “Find your flow and drop into a rhythm.”
The idea, we learned, is to welcome whatever needs to come out. “Some people start laughing,” said Carly. “Some cry and some scream. This is definitely the space for that.”
The experience might amplify a physical pain in the body, but stay with the breath and it will pass, says Carly. For others, it’s not until the very end of the session when we have a moment of silence where thoughts and feelings come through. Carly advises us to “just trust the process.”
The herb beds you can see in the photograph had extra layers of rugs and blankets added. We were given eye masks. I could faintly hear some deep, heavy breathing around me. Maybe even some yoga breath of fire going on. Not for me. I stuck with in for four, hold for four, out for seven. Even though we had been specifically told not to have any space between the inhalation and exhalation, it worked for me and I felt totally relaxed. Next time I’ll try not to hold for four.
I’m fortunate in that I’ve never experienced trauma, so nothing painful or distressing came up for me. I had a strong sense of well-being and was “visited” by my living loved ones. I could sense their love for me and my love for them, deeply and profoundly. I also felt close and connected to this land. The best part for me was that I had a strong sense of hope that all is going to be fine for me and the world.
Like many, I have had strong feelings of despair for America and the world, but they lifted during this journey and I had faith and hope that all would be well. This wonderful feeling was amplified when Carly invited us to open our eyes and look at the magnificent sunset. Seeing the incredible pink sky with birds flying overhead was life-affirming. There was joy in my heart.
The one-and-a-half-hour journey passed quickly, as Carly predicted. It was made more spectacular because of Leanne’s sprays that she made using local plants: sages, pepper, eucalyptus, and mugwort. Everyone agreed the scents were a marvelous addition to the experience.
Eve came around to each of us during the ceremony gently touching us with bunches of herbs and her healing hands put gentle pressure on our feet, knees, legs, shoulders and head. If anyone didn’t want to be touched and experience this energy work, they just had to raise their hand. The music was loud enough that we couldn’t hear if anyone laughed or cried. A few got up and danced.
After the ceremony, as we drank tea and shared our experiences in the tent, I learned that Eve had held some participants if they were crying. One woman said she had gone to a place of grief from her childhood and that Eve’s holding of her as she wept had been kind and meaningful, something she would never forget.
These breath, scent and sound journeys with Carly, Leanne and Eve are held at Rituel regularly. The next one is on Saturday, May 2 at 6.30pm. It ends around 9pm. I’ve already booked spots for me and my husband. The fee of $145 per person includes water, tea and delicious snacks. Every cup, plate and teapot is carefully chosen by Eve, who has exquisite taste.
Carly, the journey’s linchpin, also hosts sound journeys and other events at her desert retreat, The Mirror, at Meander Canyon, Pioneertown.
For more information and lists of upcoming events hosted by these gifted and talented ladies, check out their websites:
rituelretreats.com (tickets for the next sound journey here)
For more information about Stanislav Grof’s work and his breath technique: stangrof.com
