I see so many people outsourcing their truth and I feel very disturbed by this.
A few weeks ago, I was spending time with a dear friend who is going through chemo. I know her to be an incredibly tuned in and intuitive person. In our conversations, however, she kept making statements about how this healer told her to do this, and this other person said to do this other thing.
I was surprised because she wasn’t tuning in to her own body’s wisdom for her answers. She was outsourcing, which was causing a lot of confusion of what was right and true for her.
As a coach, sometimes people come to me and say things like, “Please fix me.” This is a strong sign they are not trusting themselves. I cannot fix anyone. You cannot fix another person—nor does anyone need fixing. You are perfect as you are. We all need help accessing our own answers sometimes (myself included), but I assure you, you do not need fixing.
A good coach or therapist or friend will see you as strong and capable even when you are down on your knees crying on the bathroom floor. They will meet you where you are (while seeing you capable) and hold a sacred and compassionate space for your process, and encourage your own answers to come through. If you need help, go see someone who is trained to facilitate by asking intelligent questions that will help bring out your own genius. This is how to get help (or give help) in an empowering way. This is a sacred container of both them and you seeing you as courageous and capable. Go to an educator that will teach you the skills and tools to access your own wisdom.
I strongly disagree with this whole culture of “healers” who claim they are going to “fix” other people. Sure, maybe they are more in touch with their intuition and can see things with more clarity or they have learned certain modalities, but these things are learnable by anyone. And this outsourcing does more damage than good because now the client becomes reliant on the “healer,” which is great for that person’s business, and terrible for the client in the long run, because now they don’t trust themselves to come up with their own answers. The more loving thing is to empower the client/friend to in-source their own answers.
The same goes for when people schedule a session with me and ask me to tell them what to do. I always explain that that is not how I work with people. I can certainly have my opinion, but in truth, we can only know life from our particular lenses and life experiences. What may be right and true for me may not be what’s right and true for another. The best practice with this is the same as I stated above—hold space and ask open-ended questions for their own genius to come through. Plus, you don’t want to get blamed for someone following your advice and it not going well for them.
Outsourcing your power is one of the most dis-empowering things you can do.
Let’s focus on being sovereign and true to ourselves. We are the authors—and thus, the authority—on our lives. Be the writer, creator, producer. Your higher self knows your answers. If you don’t know how to connect with your higher self, then find someone who will teach you the tools to get still and listen, so you can follow your own guidance.
