Years ago, I was taking a walk on Cheney, near the Mountain Mermaid. There are loads of wild peacocks around that neighborhood. They would often strut and show off their magnificent fan of feathers and block off the entire road, creating a rather strange, but totally legit and very Topanga excuse of why you might be late getting somewhere (of course, everyone in Topanga has a different story on how the peacocks got there, which is part of the fun). They’re just so magical and strange and loud and unique and just stunning. I love that this is their home.
That particular day, I saw something I’d never seen before—I saw a peacock taking off in flight! I know I sound like a naïve little kid, but never really imagined them flying for some reason. And the coolest part? It looked like a small dragon!
I’ve been thinking a lot about dragons lately. One of my favorite yoga teachers used to talk about how it felt like he was “riding a dragon” when it came to doing some of his more intense inner work.
There has been so much happening in Los Angeles lately that is really challenging for everyone and we are all doing so much of our inner (and outer) work to regulate our nervous systems right now. Many have lost their homes and all their possessions in the fires. Others have been experiencing what is often called “survival guilt” because they are okay, while their friends suffer tragic losses. Many are feeling a mixture of devastation, gratitude, anger, comradery, fear of the unknown, the list goes on. Whatever your unique experience currently is, you might be feeling like you are “riding a dragon.”
Whether you are new or seasoned to riding the wild creature of emotions in you, I want to remind you of a few universal truths:
- First and foremost, everything changes. Whether you like or dislike this statement is irrelevant. It is a deep truth.
- Being present with what is, is one of the most powerful things anyone can do. Yes, be present with all the unpleasant emotions just as much as the lovely ones. Doing this strengthens your muscles of resilience and capacity. I aim to be what I call a “full spectrum being,” and this means that I am willing to experience the full range of what it means to be human, not just the pretty parts. This takes heroic courage.
- Connect with your body. This is interwoven with #2. When we become present with what is without trying to change it, and we allow our bodies to fully experience this on a somatic level, the energy is witnessed and can disperse. If we suppress our emotions, the opposite happens—the suppressed energy stays inside of us, festering and getting larger. So, feel all the feels, and allow your incredibly intelligent body to process it.
- If you’re not sure how to do #3, start with just noticing your breath. Be so very gentle with yourself, especially when things feel traumatic. If you do feel some trauma or PTSD in your body, go very slowly and keep your eyes open. Take long, slow, gentle breaths and remind yourself that you are safe and you are resilient.
- Connect with each other. We are communal beings, and we can experience a lot of calmness in our nervous systems from one another’s comfort. Who can you reach out to today that would feel good for you and/or them?
- Spiritual and/or daily practice. This is not about religion, but can be. What I mean by this is that when we tune into God/Universe/Energy, we remember that we are all one. There is no separation, and what feels like destruction is simultaneously a resurrection. Little baby trees are beginning to grow under the ashes right now as I type this.
- Bring Love to the places inside that hurt. And when you’ve done that, bring yourself another heaping portion. And when you’ve done that, bring Love to someone else.
- What are you being asked to learn in this (challenging) experience? This right here will often help people to feel a bit more centered. Perhaps you are being asked to learn that your family is more important than your material possessions are. Perhaps you are being asked to learn that you are more capable than you thought. Maybe you’re getting the hit that you are actually extremely sensitive and need to take extra gentle care of yourself. Maybe you are realizing how important it is to have an organized community during natural disasters, and you now want to take action on making this happen. There are so many things to learn in big experiences like this. As another one of my teachers and a longtime Topanga resident, Dr. Ron Hulnick, used to say: Learn how to use everything [even this] for your growth, upliftment, and learning. How has this challenge served you?
I understand that this short list doesn’t take away the pain, it doesn’t bring your house back, and it doesn’t help the trees to grow back faster either. But rest assured, that time and the cyclical nature of all things will eventually restore harmony in your world. In the meantime, the lesson is this: what can you do to help yourself learn to ride this dragon of ups and downs, so you can feel more resourced and resilient? As always, your thoughts and feelings are encouraged and invited by myself and Topanga New Times. Please reach out to us if there’s anything you’d like to add or share. We are all in this together.
