I was out last night listening to some live music. It felt great to just be in my own little zone, but still in a crowd of people excited to be listening to music and dancing. It seems a cliché to say that I had a bit of a spiritual experience, but I honestly did.
In the middle of this crowded venue, I had an experience of being totally alone, yet totally alive.
What surprised me even more, was how good it felt to feel “alone.”
Earlier in the week, I had been talking to a group of friends and they were really wanting to find their partner. There was a lot of talk about how men aren’t “doing the work” (I’ll save that for another article) and how they felt lonely so they were settling for partners because they didn’t want to be old and alone. I understand this experience well, and have often felt the same in the past several years of my life, so we were all commiserating as you do sometimes when you’re just painting your toenails with your girlfriends.
But as I was dancing by myself listening to the music last night, there were couples everywhere, and then there was me—and I was having a blast. Not a care in the world about looking cute or trying to impress anyone. I was just dancing away. It felt good to move any funky energy through my body and literally just shake it all off. Any somatic practitioner will tell you that dancing is such good medicine.
Beyond the dancing, something even better was happening inside my heart and mind. I had this remembrance of my own freedom, my own sovereignty… a deep remembering that none of us need others to “complete us.” It doesn’t work that way. Yes, partnerships are important (fundamental even) as we are interconnected beings and our lives are much more beautiful when we have someone to share our happiness and our sadness with. This is vital. Families (including chosen families) are soooo crucial to living a full and enriching life.
But there’s also something else—there’s the remembrance that at the core of it all, there’s also just you (or just you and God). I had the most beautiful moment swimming in that deep knowing that I am whole and complete just as I am. I don’t need anything to be any different. This moment of happiness will evaporate just as the moments of hardship evaporate. I am breathing. I am in this body. I am the consciousness experiencing what this human body thinks and feels. I am Divine Awareness.
Funny how the simple embodiment of dancing can bring us back to such a profound moment of oneness. If you haven’t danced lately, maybe your next spiritual awakening isn’t in the plant medicine ceremony. Maybe it’s waiting for your smile and your booty shaking on the dance floor.
