In all my years of working with people, I’ve yet to meet anyone who hasn’t struggled with their own unique blend of issues: self worth issues, abandonment, permission-seeking, externally validating, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, the desire to feel safe… These are all normal things we humans struggle with in our subconscious (and some of us, conscious) minds.
These patterns are as old as human beings, although I do believe they are becoming more prevalent. And as many of us are blessed with the basics of food, water, shelter, we are less preoccupied with keeping our bodies alive, so our focus has switched from physical needs to the needs of the psyche. These days, most of us are concerned with how to quiet our minds, feel less anxious, or upgrade our belief systems than we are about how to hunt wild game for dinner.
I truly believe that the real revolution is the evolution of consciousness.
We are innately programmed to grow, like plants moving towards more sunlight. We crave growth. We need growth to survive and thrive. With this growth, comes pressure, resistance, and challenges. Every time I trim the rose bush in my yard, I watch her stalks come back thicker and stronger. Her new shoots are pushing through to burst forth, her roots are creeping downward, stabilizing her. Eventually, she’ll bloom. Anaïs Nin says it best: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” There’s often pressure and pain in growth, breaking through to the next iteration. With each stage of the rose’s journey, I imagine there is the full spectrum experience of joy and pain: the seedling bursting through the topsoil, tiny little stalks, and leaves, and thorns birthing themselves, then the bud in its tight enclosure, the full fragrant glory of the rose, and finally the slow wrinkling of her petals… that eventually drop and decompose.
It’s all cyclical. And the patterns repeating themselves through all humanity are also cyclical. This is why Shakespearean plays are still loved—he focuses on the repetitive human experiences of love, heartbreak, betrayal, pride, loss, joy. We are all constantly playing the roles of various archetypes in timeless stories. This is why Carl Jung’s work on archetypes is so spot on. And there’s my personal all time favorite—The Hero’s Journey, observed and shared by Joseph Campbell. Having studied people and cultures in cities and tribes all over the world, Campbell noted that all of humanity has this one thing in common—we all cycle through this monomyth. In different stages of life and often different areas of life, we are constantly moving through the stages of this cycle. The monomyth starts out with the hero in his normal everyday world. Then something out of the ordinary happens and there’s a call to action to move out of the comfort zone and into a less known world where allies, enemies, challenges, inner dragons all show up to play their roles in assisting the hero’s growth. The hero grows because of the uncomfortable challenges, and ideally eventually makes his way back to his tribe with the “elixir” of new information, or a new way of doing something. His own growth journey then assists in the growth of the tribe, ideally causing a ripple effect of growth.
Why am I rambling on about roses and heroes?
Because as much as we like to get all bogged down and complain about the challenges we are constantly presented with, they are imperative. They are the cuts that make the rose stronger, they are moments of anguish that help the hero build his or her muscles. Every time we move through what feels like another challenge or repetitive pattern, remember that it’s actually an upwards spiral and not a cycle. Your awareness is more than it was the last time, like the ever expanding spiraling orbit of a planet—also programmed towards continuous evolution.
The Life/Growth Program is the most deeply ingrained program we have on this earth (and beyond). It’s wild to think about—the micro and macro of this: subatomic particles constantly creating things, as well as the ever-expanding universe.
The next time you are feeling stressed and pressurized, remember how little control you have over all of it. LOL. Ha. I doubt that sentence makes most people relax! But it’s true. It’s actually the most true thing: the only reason we exist is to grow and evolve, and the smartest thing we can do is to keep accepting and surrendering towards more growth.
