People who are in the health and wellness industry rarely enter this domain because their lives have been easy. They’ve usually had harder-than-average life experiences that have knocked them down so far that they’ve had to figure out how to pull themselves out of a deep hole. To get out of that hole, they had to figure out a way to muster up enough strength, courage, and determination in the middle of that despair to get themselves out. Simply put—they’ve been in some very dark places.
So, if you’re feeling depressed, do yourself a favor and don’t talk to people who say things like, “Just get over it,” or “Don’t cry.” Because, as Matt Kahn says, “People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.” Go talk to people who have gone through significant challenges as they will know how to sit in the dark with you. This is not a time to be barraged by other people’s advice. Actually, the person who will have the best answers to get you out of this unpleasant experience is your own Higher Self. As I always like to say, “You are your own best healer.”
Being depressed is your body asking for time for deep-rest and intentional listening.
Something in you is asking for you to slow down and feel whatever is trying to be expressed. Most of us run away from this because, well, it’s unpleasant. And we live in a society that tells us to “smile” and that something is wrong with us if we’re not constantly happy. Humans were not built to be happy alllll the time. If we were, the capacity for sadness would not exist. Of course, we don’t want to remain or wallow in depression, but we do want to honor it.
It is important to slow down and give yourself that deep-rest. The next most important thing is to go into dialogue with your depression as if it’s an old friend (this is simplified Gestalt therapy, btw). If this is a strange and foreign idea for you, here are some easy instructions:
- Create a safe, private space for yourself. Maybe light a candle or some incense to set the intention of creating a sacred container.
- Have a journal and pen ready. I also like to have a cup of my favorite tea, some flowers, and a favorite blanket or pillow to cozy up to.
- As awkward as this may sound, you’re just going to start a dialogue with your depression as if it’s another person. You speak first, maybe saying, “Hi Depression. It’s me. I know you’ve been trying to tell me something. I want you to know that I’m ready to listen. Please share with me why you’re here.”
- Then you listen—like really, really listen.
- Continue to dialogue until you have an “a-ha” moment. If you feel stuck on what to ask, these are pretty solid questions: “What are you here to teach me?” “In what ways is my life so out of alignment that I am feeling this way?”
- As you are doing this, I encourage you to write it all down. This will help you embody it, and sometimes, you’ll find yourself writing your own solutions to get you back into a place of alignment that will feel much more pleasant than the experience of depression.
It’s only in the slow, sticky, icky, blah, lull of quietness that we can hear these important answers. The answers you get from this will often help you course-correct yourself into a more happier and pleasant life experience.
*I feel it’s important to add that I am referring to occasional and situational depression here. Clinical depression will require dedicated time spent one on one with a trained professional.
